the Yard Dogs 2009 tour - Santa's excellent adventure

update - Yard Dogs 2009 Tour

2009-08-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

Hey there!

We haven't dropped off the face of the earth! But since leaving Wisconsin, we've had agonizingly slow internet access and have been unable to upload photos and videos of what's going on! (I've had to reboot three times just to get this post online!) Rest assured, Santa is still having his excellent adventure!

We start our last show of the tour later this afternoon, then leave Monday to head back home with Santa in tow.

Once home and once again connected to the internet with reasoinable speed, I will upload and update the missing days of our tour blog!

adios for now!

the Yard Dogs
http://www.theYardDogs.com

Day 27 - last day of the fair! 08/16/09

2009-08-18T11:53:00.001-07:00

I was up early Sunday and got some pics uploaded for the blog. I left around 10am and headed to Menominie Falls to the motel where my daughter and her family were staying. I wanted to treat everyone to breakfast so we dialed in the nearest George Webb and headed to Butler. But the George Webb there had closed up shot, so we ate at a local mom and pop place and had a great meal. The boys were happy to see Pawpaw Brian and little Jack got a kick out of taking my picture while I was taking his!

I headed straight to the fair from Menominie Falls and got there around noon. We didn't have to start our show until 2pm, so I stretched out on the empty back seat in the van for about 40 minutes of nap time. By this time all of us were really dragging. Psychologically too, it's the last day and your so tired of being on that stage, but ya gotta do it so you smile, pop a beer, and give it your best!

We had a good show and have this pics of that day at the fair.

As we were packing up, the Miller Brewing guys showed up to take down that lampshade. My final tally was 76 headstrikes on that shade! They got a kick out of that!

Before I packed up any gear, I had to clean up my "beer environment" so as to be able to move around the stage. It had grown in scope to prodigious proportions!

Charlie filmed a short video as I went into turbo mode doing cleanup. (I know my friend, Nick Wagner will especially appreciate this clip!)

We finally got everything packed and out onto the street. Charlie and I left to get our vehicles. We were finished playing at 8pm, the fairgrounds closed at 9pm, and around 9:30 they start letting people back onto the fairgrounds. We had everything loaded by about 10pm. We enjoyed having a last beer and some pizza with Mo-Joe's owner, Tom and manager Bill and the now empty tiki bar.

I was home by 11, but didn't have the energy for a ritual rum nightcap. So I had the last beer in the fridge instead. I was asleep by midnight.

So much for day 27!

Day 26 - Saturday at the Fair - 08/15/09

2009-08-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

On one hand I was dreading Saturday, August 15th. We had to play a 7 hour show and all of us were experiencing flagging energy after 9 days and a 6 hour set the day before. But on the other hand, I was excited because my daughter, Bonnie, her husband, Daryl, and their two sons, Carter and Jack were driving up from Plainfield, Illinois to spend a couple of days at the Wisconsin State Fair!

We wound up having a good show Saturday, with lots of friends in the audience and our best day of cd and shirt sales for the entire fair! Here's some representative photos...

I forgot to get a photo of my headbump count on the lampshade, but I did get a series of photos of my rapidly expanding "beer environment" on stage...

I had a quick nightcap back at the apartment, then crashed for the night. One more fair day to go!

interim update 08/18/09

2009-08-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

I finally have time to get caught up on the past three days worth of blog updates, but am having internet speed issues and can't seem to upload any photos.

I will update as soon as possible.

Stay tuned!

Day 25 - Fair Friday - 08/14/09

2009-08-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

Friday, August 14th was a warm sunny day. I fixed myself some bacon and eggs and lounged around drinking coffee until about noon. Then I went to Charlie's place at Bob's house to deliver the corn that I'd divvied up between Kip and Charlie and I. Once again, thanks Angel for the corn! It's delicious!

Speaking of corn, when I got back to the apartment at 1pm, Marion had made up a bunch of that same corn, so I had a couple of ears of corn-on-the-cob for lunch. I spent a couple of hours updating the blog, grabbed a less than substantial short nap, and headed out just after 3pm for the fairgrounds.

We had a fun show! I was trying to snap a photo, but instead got a super short video of our audience practicing the hand wave for "Carrots Carrots Carrots All the Time"!

Here are some random photos aquired during the course of the show...

Our friend, Rhonda Way showed up after her show wearing a Yard Dogs tank top!

We got Rhonda up on stage playing rub board with us and I thought I had a video but I guess that fumbling with the camera while playing the rhumba box is not the best way to assure quality photography or videography!

Rhonda and Bobby Way perform 5-7 every evening on the Rupena's Stage, then Bobby changes hats and plays the same stage with his band Bobby Way and the Fabulous Wayouts beginning at 7pm. Charlie caught this shot between the end of the Bobby and Rhonda show and the beginning of the Bobby Way and the Wayout show.

We finally talked Mo-Joe's owner, Tom Miller, into taking the stage with us for a little rub board playing. I took this video while playing the rhumba box and juggling a beer. Tom was cookin' on the scrub board!

By the end of the evening, I had upped my count of headbumps on the Miller Lite lamp to 65. Guess that old saying, "Can't teach an old dog new tricks" has validity!

High winds blew down fully half of my beer wall during the show. Bottles were scattered all over the place. My beer wall has now become Brian's beer environment. I can no longer fit my beer environment into a single photo, so here's a slide show for you...

I stopped on the way out of the grounds to film a clip of the Ecuador Manta boys entertaining a largely hispanic crowd. They had 'em dancing in the streets! It made me think of my friends at El Tropical Cuban Cafeteria back hom in Cape Coral! (I miss that place! If you ever visit Cape Coral, Florida, stop by El Tropical to sample the food and Cervesa!)

We're down to two more days at the Wisconsin State Fair. The Yard Dogs refer to the last two days as "the grind" because we play 7 hours Saturday and 6 hours Sunday, then fight traffic to get back on the fairgrounds with our vehicles to load out Sunday night.

Regardless of "the grind", I am looking forward to Saturday (Day 26) since my daughter, Bonnie, her husband, Daryl, and my two grandsons, Jack and Carter are driving up from Plainfield, Illinois to spend the day at the fair and see the Yard Dogs!

Life is good! :)

Day 24 - Matlacha Day at Mo-Joe's Pizza

2009-08-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

We had a good turn out for what we billed as "Matlacha Day" at Mo-Joe's Pizza! We had a number of friends show up wearing Yard Dogs or Bert's Bar shirts and hats! Unfortunately I neglected to get pictures as I was busy selling stuff. Here are the pictures I DID get though...

I totally forgot to get pics of my beer wall and lampshade headbunmp count, but as I recall, I'm up to 63 now (headbumps that is - not empty beer bottles!)

So many people have asked us where we are staying this year that we thought it would be cool to post some video shots showing you just that. Accrodingly, here's Charlie showing you a guided tour of his home away from home in Milwaukee.

2009 Midwest Tour/Charlie's Home Away From Home-8/11/09

In order to keep the video size small enough to preclude upload issues, we broke Kip's tour into two sections. Kip is staying with "Roadkill Keith" in West Allis.

2009 Midwest Tour/Kip's Home Away From Home(Part 1)-8/11/09

2009 Midwest Tour/Kip's Home Away From Home(Part 2)-8/11/09

And finally, here's a vid of my digs at Marion's apartment in Hales Corners.

Compared with previous years, we are livin' in the lap of luxury! A special thanks to Bob, "Roadkill" Keith, and Marion for putting up with us for the three plus weeks we're here!

Day 23 - Wednesday at the fair and corn

2009-08-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, 08/12/09 was a fair and sunny day. We played 5-9pm and had fun sets and good crowds.

During breaks, I walked across the street to Rupena's and got a couple of clips of Bobby and Rhonda Way performing.

For the past 5 years it's become sort of a ritual that our friend, Angel, brings us a cooler full of fresh picked corn.

At the end of the show, I gave Angel a lift to where she had parked her car so I could pick up the corn. This year she must have given us two dozen ears! Thanks, Angel!

Before going to get the corn, I did snap a pic of my beer wall...

and the current count of how many times I've hit my head on the lamp shade.

Back at the apartment, I was greeted by my buddies Sammy and Max. After walking the dogs, I fixed myself a dinner of steamed corn on the cob, boiled hot dogs and salted peanuts. It was delicious!

End of day 23.

Day 22 - lunch at Engine 25 - 08/11/09

2009-08-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, August 11th was a fun day!

A week earlier on Monday, while playing our last show at Barnacle Bud's, we met a local fire crew, the boys from Milwaukee Fire Department Engine 25. The crew graciously invited the Yard Dogs (and of course, Santa too) over to the Engine 25 station house for lunch - and today was the day! Unfortunately, Charlie and Kip were beset with equipment issues. Charlie had 5 notes quit working on his keyboard. In addition, his blue accordion which I had taken for repair earlier had a stuck reed. To top things off, his white accordion got a beer dumped all over it Monday and was too gummed up to work. Kip had a loose connection in his stage monitor so he needed that fixed. So while they scrambled around getting their gear repaired (and a new keyboard for Charlie), Santa and I journeyed over to Engine 25 for lunch!

I wandered inside and the first person I ran into was firefighter Dave Ginster hard at work in the kitchen!

Soon we were joined by the rest of the five man shift crew. From left to right you can see Lieutenant Greg Marris, Firefighter Dave Ginster, Santa, Firefighter Mike Emmrich, HEO Tom Ulatowski, and Firefighter Andy Weigel.

Santa and I enjoyed a lunch of sauerkraut and brats, cheeseburgers, baked beans and cupcakes! It was a lot of fun visiting with these guys too! I enjoyed learning a bit about how the station runs, and the various maintenance things that go on in daily life at the station house. Believe me that place was neat as a pin and immaculately clean! I could see my own reflection in the red paint of the Engine as I snapped this pic! Talk about highly polished!

The grounds were tastefully planted and obviously well maintained! I learned that the flower colors were yellow, orange and red to mimic the color of flames. Appropriate plantings for a firehouse indeed!

The boys soon found a stick-on badge for Santa and had him don Lt Marris's firefighters helmet for pictures! Santa got to pose in the driver's seat of Engine 25, holding a firehose, and scoping out all the highly chromed valves and gadgets on the engine. Engine Company 25 is also the home of the MFD Hazardous Materials Team. They boys found a hazmat suit for Santa to try out too! Check out all the pics below!

Santa and I hung out for about an hour there. We thoroughly enjoyed lunch, the tour of the facility and most of all the chance to just hang with a group of really great guys! Thanks to Lt Marris and the whole crew for your hospitality! Because Engine 25 is so close to the fairgrounds, all nearby available parking spots were taken up by fair-goers. I'd parked about a half mile away. Firefighter Andy Weigel was gracious enough to give Santa and I a lift back to my van in the stations HazMat Vehicle. The boys also gifted me with a Milwaukee Fire Department T-shirt and a Milwaukee Fire Department coffee mug too! Thanks guys!

After lunch, I headed back to Marion's apartment to walk her dogs. Marion and her folks left that morning on a 3 day road trip and I was dogsitting Max and Sammy in Mar's absence. I gave the dogs a final walk and feeding at 3:00pm, then headed off to the fairgrounds. It was a long walk carting a beer cooler, cash box AND Santa back to our stage!

Once again, those ubiquitous Bert's Bar T-shirts were in evidence at the show!

We had a fun audience, beautiful weather, and all four of our sets were well attended! Here's some pics taken during the course of the show...

I took a little time and walked over to the poultry barn to look at the chickens, but was disappointed to see no chickens there - just goats and llamas. The security guard told me the chickens would be back later. I hope so. They are fun to watch! I figure watching chickens is how Mick Jagger got some of his stage moves!

At the end of the show, we gorged ourselves on hot pizza!

and I took the obligatory photo showing the growth of my wall of beer.

But I forgot to do a photo of the tick marks on the lampshade showing how many times I've bumped my head. As I recall, the count was 51 ticks at the end of Day 22.

I shot a short video of the boys from Equador playing their pan flute music as I left the fairgrounds...

I was home by 10, walked the dogs, had a rum nightcap and read myself to sleep.

Day 22 was a busy day!

Day 21 - Monday was a nicer day

2009-08-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

Like I said, just about every day, we see at least one Bert's Bar t-shirt in our audience! Today was no exception!

My friend Marion, her mom and dad , cousin, and family friend were there in our audience...

Our rub board playing friend, Dave, made these custom made scrapers for me! Cool, huh?

We had a fun crown and people stayed right up until the end. Nice weather was a welcome change!

Out last set finished at 9pm. I took the obligatory photo of my wall...

and of the headcount on the lamp shade...

Then we tarped our stuff and headed over to the Water Street Brewery where Charlie's old Milwaukee ban, "Hat Trick" was playing. We caught part of their last set there.

We even managed a few videos.

We left a bit before the end of their set and I stopped to collect Santa because we had a lunch appointment with the crew from Milwaukee Fire Department Engine 25 the next day!

The day ended with me doing a bit of computer work and sipping a rum on rocks nightcap.

So ended day 21.

Day 20 - MORE rain at the fair!

2009-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

We can't seem to catch a break on the weekend weather during the 2009 Wisconsin State Fair. Sunday had afternoon rain in the forecast.

Every day when I drive to the fair, I pass this house on the corner of 84th and National Ave. I think it looks cool. So I took this picture of it.

That has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the story, so I'll just leave it dangling there as a disjointed, discontinuous distraction from the rest of the days blog entry.

Just about every day we've been on tour we;ve had at least one person wearing a Bert's Bar shirt. Today was no exception!

Sunday was the first day we've seen the big-eared wheel man riding his wheel around and blowing his whistle. I took some vids just playing with my camera.

I got brave and ate a chocolate covered, deep fried bacon on a stick.

At first, it tasted okay, then by the end, I found it thoroughly disgusting. I had a queasy stomach most of the rest of the gig as a result.
Despite less than optimal weather, we had good crowds our first three sets.

But then a good little storm swept through. We thought it was going to blow the tent roof right off the stage and seating area! The tent survived, but tables and chairs and umbrellas went flying!

We were beset with equipment issues this day too. Kip's floor monitor kept intermittantly crapping out. Charlie spilled a beer all over his white accordion, and we had an annoying high pitched feedback that we couldn't figure out the source of.

Aftet the storm, peopkle fled for the fair exits and the crowd - both on the streets and in the stage area dwindled.

I started keeping a tally sheet posted on the overhanging lamp shade of how many times I've bumped my head on it.

I had to snap a pic of my beer wall before leaving...

On my way out of the fair, I stopped to snap a pic of the Ecuador music guys. They sound cool, but at that point in the day, they had zero audience.

Rum nightcap and bed.

So ended day 20.

Day 19 - more rain at the fair 08/08/09

2009-08-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it was bound to happen! We posted Santa's email address (Santa@theYardDogs.com) and wouldn't you know it? Santa got an email from John Bongo in Nigeria offering him to score a quick 60,000 Euros if only he will send money via Western Union to cooperate in John Bongo's nefarious scheme! Too bad I don't have more time or I'd jerk John Bongo around a little bit!

I've had some success in messing with email scammers in the past. I convinced one of them to write for me a seven page biography of a Canadian hockey player. Another I convinced to communicate with me in code (I had a Word macro that did the encoding and decoding, but he had to meticulously encode and decode all email communications to or from me manually). A third was convinced that I was an evangelical preacher in Atlanta ( Rev. Hubert "Hugh" R. Stuckman, Doctor of Divinity and Pastor of the Church of Our Lady of Unbounded Entitlement) and that I was addressed as "Batman" and "Your holy luminosity" by my congregation. I convinced him to send me a photograph of himself holding a large sign that read, "Holy luminosity, Batman!" But here I am getting sidetracked again...

I meant to write about the fair and day 19 of the Yard Dogs tour, "Santa's excellent adventure". It was that darned scammers email to Santa that got me sidetracked!

About the fair...
It was a rainy day. It rained all morning with some heavy thundershowers interspersed with drizzle. Though they called for clearing skies by early afternoon, it was later before the rain quit and the skies blued up. But unfortunately, the rain probably kept a lot of people away from the fair who might otherwise have attended.

We had some stage leaks that had to be addressed...

Here's Kipper killing time until the start of the first set...

We were so impressed that they actually sell chocolate covered deep fried bacon on a stick at the fair that we had to have this photo as proof!

Certain fans have unique ways of expressing appreciation for our music...

The high winds blew down all my empties off the beer bottle wall of shame and I didn't feel like setting them all up again at the end of the seven hour show, so I didn't get a photo of MY wall, BUT I did see this admirable collection along another wall...

I believe this particular collection was attributable to Clair and her crew!

We had good attendance at the first four of our seven sets though the crowds thinned out as the evening progressed. Here's a slide show of some of the day's events...

At the end of the seven hours playing, we devoured three pizzas, tarped our gear...

and boogied on outa there! I was home by 11:30 and was really exhausted, but I was too wound up to fall asleep. I had a rum on rocks and read a bit and finally fell asleep about 1:30am.

So ended the day, 19 of the tour and 3 of the 2009 fair.

day 18 - rain at the fair 08/07/09

2009-08-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

Though they had arrived the day before, I met Marion's parents this morning. John and Lorainne are from Atlanta and will be staying here with Marion for the next week or so.

This was the first time I met Lorainne, but I had actually met Mar's dad probably 15 years ago when Mar and I both worked in the I.S. department at Egleston Children's Hospital. I was wandering aimlessly during my lunch hour and bumped into them in Decatur Square. They promptly invited me to join them for lunch. But I'm getting sidetracked here...

Mar and her folks were off to visit friends so I went to George Webb's for breakfast. I made a stop at the Pick 'N Save for some essentials (beer), then headed back to the apartment. I got caught up with the blog, took an hour snooze, walked and fed the dogs, then grabbed an umbrella out of Mar's coat closet, constructed myself a makeshift rain jacket out of a green plastic lawn and leaf bag, and took off for the fair.

It was a drizzly, cold day at the fair and attendance suffered accordingly.

I was pleased to see our friend, Anne Miller, back at Mo-Joe's. Anne is the daughter of owners Tom and Pat and she is my slingshot riding buddy from last year's fair.

Oh yeah! Before I forget, let me include a photo of Santa with his new girlfriend, Bimbo! (I didn't get a photo when they met each other the previous day)

Before our first set, I snuck across the street to the Rupena's stage to say hello to our friends Bobby Way and his lovely wife, Rhonda. They were kicking off their first set at 5:00pm - just like us.

Despite the rain, our first two sets were packed! Lots of friends in the audience!

By about 7:30pm, what crowd there was started to dissipate. By our last set, we were down to just a handful of people at our stage and the fairgrounds looked nearly deserted. Too bad it rained all day as this Friday is usually a huge day at the fair!

We finished tarping our stuff and then scarfed down three pizzas thoughtfully provided by Bill and Sarah at Mo-Joe's.

We tarped up our stage gear and I snapped a photo of my wall (which is progressing quite nicely and according to schedule!)

By the time we finished pizza and tarping up, the crew at Mo-Joe's had the tables stacked...

and had started in on their nightly clean-up ritual.

Though the fair was open another hour and a half, you can see there were just a scattering of people still there as I walked out.

I was at the apartment by 11 and had a small knock of rum as a nightcap before reading myself to sleep. I am currently reading an autobiography, "Catch Me if you Can" by Frank Abagnale. He is the quintessential, con man, forger, impostor, and escape artist! Fascinating read!

Thus ended day 18,

Day 17 - opening day Wisconsin State Fair! 08/06/09

2009-08-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today was the big day - opening day of the 2009 Wisconsin State Fair!

I could tell just walking into the fairgrounds that the crowd was much bigger than last year's opening day!

Compare these crowd pics I took wandering aimlessly with the ones from the previous day. Big diff, huh?

This booth is definitely unique. I'm posting this picture just to piss off those nutcase PETA people!

We had great audiences during our sets and we put on one heck of a show if I DO say so myself! Even Santa had fun! Here he is posing with our friends, the Wagners! (L-R, Becky, Jim, Santa, Nick, Terri)

There's a Miller Lite light and shade hanging near our cd display rack. Between the setup the previous day, and opening day, I've bumped my head on it 29 times so far! (Guess I'm not a real quick learner!)

This lady bought a bottle of Yard Dogs Swamp Sauce. It was the very first sale we made at this year's fair!

Our friends, Jim and Janet Winterle came by to see us perform. They had a huge stuffed monkey that they donated to Santa. (You see, the stuffed monkey was wearing pink panties so we knew it was a girl!) We promptly named the monkey "Bimbo" and set her up next to Santa. Now I'm about 99 percent sure I took pictures of both the Winterle's and Bimbo the monkey, but darned if I can locate them on my camera! We'll take pictures of Bimbo and Santa together today when we get back to the fair.

I did get various shots of friends we saw at the fair. Here is a sampling!

Here are a few miscellaneous shots...

My little wall accumulated a few more empties by the end of the night. Here's two days worth (I think I might have lost a couple of bottles though.)

We ended the night with two pizzas graciously provided by Mo-Joe's. I was back at Marion's apartment by 10pm. Her parents, John and Lorraine, flew in from Atlanta while I was off playing the fair gig. But by the time I got to the apartment, everybody had already gone to bed. I tiptoed around, poured myself a little rum nightcap, and uploaded the days pictures to photobucket. So ended day 17 (day 1 of the 2009 Wisconsin State Fair) One day down, ten more to go! Then it's off to Missouri for the Yard Dogs!

Friday, (today) we are playing an extra hour - 5-10pm. C'mon out to the fair, stop by Mo-Joe's Pizza, have some pizza and beers and say hey to us!

Hey! A reminder! - Remember that Thursday, August 13th is Matlacha Day at Mo-Joe's Pizza! There will be some special freebies offered! Stay tuned to these blog entries so you can be sure to know the secret to collecting YOUR freebie! We hope to see all our Matlacha friends there Thursday! Of course we welcome you ANY day, but especially on Thursday!

Day 16 a Fair day for pizza! - 08/05/09

2009-08-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Day 16 was Wednesday, 08/05/09. We were off again. Sorta. We didn't have to play, but we DID have to go to the Wisconsin State Fair fairgrounds and load-in and sound check at the Mo-Joe's Pizza stage where we are playing the next eleven days.

I was the first Yard Dog to arrive at Mo-Joe's. I was greeted by bartendress Sarah who happened to be momentarily running the show there since owners Tom and Pat, manager Bill, and owner's son Chris were all off on various errands at the time.

Soon, Kip and Charlie pulled up and we set about unloading gear. Our good friend, Bobby Way had our lights and some extra speakers and amps already set up.

His able assistant, Domonick, was there helping.

Bobby Way is one hard working dude! He sets up sound and lighting for like six different stages at the state fair. AND he is a working musician himself - pulling double shifts nearly every day of the fair doing his duet show with his lovely wife, Rhonda as "Bobby and Rhonda", and then playing at night with his full band, "Bobby Way and the Fabulous Wayouts".

Here's a slideshow of some of the friends we were happy to see on pre-opening day!

Weve got the load-in sequence down to a fine science now. Here's a slideshow of us getting our gear and our act together.

We did a quick soundcheck and got everything adjusted - including the separate amp and speakers which Bobby and Domonick helped with. Those speakers are located closer to the front of the room than the main speakers which are near the stage. As such, there has to be a time delay of a few micro seconds so the sound from the close speakers arrives at the same time as the sound from the further back ones. Hey! Who ever said this music schtick ain't high-tech?

While final adjust ments were being made I wandered around the grounds a bit. The fairgrounds seem strange the day before opening day. People are scarce, but cars and trucks are everywhere! Driving is tricky because parked vehicles block the roads. Parking can be iffy too! I had backed my van right up the sidewalk to Mo-Joe's.

You hear lots of hammering and powersaws going as you walk around the fair. But it's eerie not seeing many people out and about - aside from deliverymen carting beer and food and ice into the various food venues.. I didn't even have to wait for a porta potty to be vacant for use! Here's some snaps I took wandering aimlessly...

It wasn't long before I had finished beer #1 of the fair which proudly took it's place on the fence behind my rhumba box! That fence will be looking a lot more full by the end of the fair! The boys in the band call it my "wall of shame".

Soon there were more beers in evidence, along with beach bread, various pizzas, fried potatos, and watermelon as we sat down with owners Pat and Tom and various and sundry other friends and employees at Mo-Joes to enjoy a right fine little pizza party!

About 6:30, we tarped everything up on the stage (but not before snapping a photo of Santa suvervising all the activity!

As is Yard Dog tradition, we headed off to a bar for a celebratory shot and beer chaser marking the end of load-in and setup for the next eleven days! It sure will be a pleasure not to have to cart gear every day for a while! This year the bar of choice was Danny Lynch's Tavern located on the corner of W. Lincoln and Hwy 100.

I left Kip and Charlie nursing their post-shot beers at Lynch's and headed off to meet my friend Marion and her friend Amy who were sitting on a patio at an italian restaurant not far away. I joined them in time for a glass of wine and cup of coffee. We all headed back to Mar's for a pleasant hour of conversation before Amy headed home.

It was another early night to bed which suits me just fine. I slept heavy but had weird dreams. The one I remember was being caught in a cold wind tornado. I awoke at 3:00am to find the air conditioner rumbling outside my bedroom window and the vent blowing right on me lying on top of the sheets. Guess that was the source of THAT dream!

So ended day 16. Tomorrow is the opening day of the fair!

Oh!~ I almost forgot to mention...
NEXT Thursday, August 13th we're planning a special "Matlacha Day" at Mo-Joe's Pizza! We're hoping all the people who have seen us perform in Matlacha will make a special effort to attend the fair and visit us at Mo-Joe's that day! We're going to be offering a give-away special, good for that day only, but you have to stay tuned and read these blogs to get the details of how to get your free prize!

Day 15 - accordion, cell phone and dogs - 08/04/09

2009-08-06T07:22:00.001-07:00

I ate breakfast at my usual place this morning - George Webb's. I had a lot of stuff to do. My cell phone crystal had a crack in it and I could no longer read anything on it. So a stop at an AT&T store was a must. Charlie had an opportunity to go salmon fishing on Lake Michigan with his brother, but was due to depart early in the morning.

Charlie and brother, Jay Kuchler headed out into Lake Michigan early that morning aboard Jays 37 foot boat, the "Pocka Rocka". Charlie was the first to put a salmon in the boat and then the boys had a double hook up! Unfortunately, Jay's fish hooked back, impaling his left index finger with a big treble hook that sunk past barb-deep.

That required an emergency room visit for removal, but, undaunted, the brothers returned to the Pocka Rocka and continued to fish putting 6 more salmon into the fish box! Perseverance pays off!

I offered to take his blue accordion to the Baldoni accordion shop in Menomonee Falls for repairs since Tuesday was the only day the Baldoni's would be in town since they were to leave for a business trip to Italy the next day.

So after breakfast, I zipped on over to the nearest AT&T store, only to discover they didn't open until 10:00am. Undeterred, I trekked a few miles to Bob's house (Charlie's friend with whom he stays when we visit Milwaukee). Bob handed off Charlie's accordion and I set off for Menomonee Falls. I arrived right as Beverlee Baldoni was opening up the shop.

I amused myself by wandering around the shop looking at accordions.

Moments later, Mr. Ivo Baldoni arrived and immediately set to work replacing the broken reed on Charlie's accordion. I got a kick out of watching him work!

Ivo was very meticulous working on the accordion...

but he also worked with very practiced hands and economy of effort and soon had Charlie's "little Blue" accordion fixed, tuned, vacuumed out, dusted and polished and re-assembled!

I bid farewell to Beverlee and Ivo Baldoni and headed back to Bob's place to drop off the accordion, stopped off at Marion's apartment to walk the dogs, (Max and Sammy).

After completion of dog walkage, it was off again to the AT&T store!

I hate buying new cell phones. Every one is different and it's such a pain going through the learning curve to use the new phone. I did manage to get a cheapo Nokia for like 85 bucks and fortunately my existing car charger will work in it. Now if I could just figure out how to set the earphone volume, I'd be all set!

After getting the phone hassle dealt with, I was hungry. By now it was like 2pm. I decided to head to Barnacle Bud's for lunch as I was in the mood for a burger and beer and I knew they had both! I didn't get any pictures at Barnacle Bud's, but hey! If you've been following the tour blog you've already seen plenty, right? Instead I just ate my burger and drank my beer. I chatted with staff members Debbie, J.R., Brooke, Petey, Joey and of course, Gilligan before heading back to Mar's place.

But before I went back to Mar's, I had to make a grocery stop. I loaded up a cart at the Pick 'N Save with various things on the list Mar had made for us and THEN headed back to the apartment. By now, it was time for more dog walkage and Mar suggested we head to the "Dog Park" near the airport. The Dog Park is a huge (like hundreds of acres) of fenced in open fields where dogs are allowed to run off the leash. Max and Sammy loved being able to run free and engage in random dog butt sniffing and pee watering the various bushes other dogs had visited.

The Dog Park is near South Milwaukee where Kip and I had stayed in an unfurnished apartment last year. The dogs had drank water out of the various dog bowls located in the park, but Mar and I were thirsty after our walk, so she suggested we stop somewhere for a beer. That idea met with my approval so I suggested we go to the watering hole Kip and I had discovered the previous year - Johnny Mo's in South Milwaukee.

I had a "Spotted Cow" on draught while Mar sipped a red wine. I asked the bartendress if the bartendress we had met the year before, Teresa (aka TC) still worked there. She replied, "Yeah...she's sitting three stools down from you on the corner of the bar!"

TC immediately remembered me from the previous year and asked about the band and where we were playing. I invited her and her boyfriend, Steve, to come see us at the fair!

Mar and I left after a single drink and we headed back to the apartment. After a bit of TV and reading, I was off to bed and sound asleep by 9:30 that night. I slept like a log, too!

So ended day 16 of the tour.

Day 14 - last show at Barnacle Bud's 08/03/09

2009-08-05T09:28:00.001-07:00

Monday, August 3rd was our last show this year at Barnacle Bud's. We really enjoy playing this place! It makes us feel like we're at home in some little Florida seaside dive bar!

Most of the staff at Barnacle Bud's now own Yard Dog shirts!

I bet a lot of you people - even Milwaukee people - didn't know that baseball announcer Bob Uecker keeps his boat tied up at Barnacle Bud's!

Wile I was busy snapping pictures of the good ship Uecker, our little buddy Gilligan arrived for work in his kayak. He had just completed a "three hour tour"...

Our photographer buddy, Ian Pritchard, and his lovely wife, Lynn were in the crowd this afternoon.

Ian does some incredible art photography and over the past few years has captured a number of photos of the Yard Dogs in action! Visit Ian and Lynne's web page at:
http://www.milwaukeephotos.com/ for a sampling of their work! Incredible stuff!

Also in the audience, we were privelaged to have a number of Milwaukee's fine firefighters! Lt. Greg Marris and some of the boys from Engine Company 25 were there (Engine 25 is home to the Hazardous Materials Team!)...

along with their lovely ladies...

Santa got his photo snapped with them too.

These guys were great! They invited the Yard Dogs, along with Santa, over to the Engine 25 stationhouse this coming Tuesday for lunch with the crew! We are really looking forward to it! Santa is anxious to have his picture taken sitting on Engine 25! If we can locate and fix Teenieana's air leak by then, she can accompany us too!

Oh! I almost forgot to mention! We saw a tugboat pushing a barge loaded with cement up the river past Barnacle Bud's. The barge had to be at least 500 feet long! I couldn't even get a picture of the entire barge!

Somehow the tug captain got the whole thing slowed down and he eased the whole shebang up soft and gentle right next to the wharf just as easy as pie! It turns out that the building that I thought housed giant grain elevators houses instead giant portland cement elevators!
(Visible on the distant left in this photo)

We had a great and lively crowd which turned a Monday night show into a show with a Friday night feel! Here are the pictures of the afternoon/evening...

It took us a while to load up all the gear after the show. It always looks like an impossible task to me, but Charlie always assures me it's a finite task in scope. As usual, he was right.

I finished the night back at Marion's apartment enjoying a glass of wine while reading "Water for Elephants", by Sara Gruen. Even though it's authored by a woman and written about a man, it's not your typical "chick book". It's not a bodice-ripper type book. (insert cover boy Fabio picture here just for the viewing enjoyment of the ladies reading this blog)

If you ever thought about running away from home as a kid to go and join the circus, this is the book for you!

Thus ended day 14.

Day 13 - summer party at the Winterle's 08/02/09

2009-08-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Day 13, Sunday morning, was an omelette morning. I am an expert omelette cooker and fixed myself a couple of ham, onion, and cheese omelettes and a scrambled spinach and cilantro omelette for my friend, Mar. We both finished our meal with leftover fruit salad. No George Webb for me on THIS morning!

Our show that afternoon was a private party on the shores of Brown's Lake in Burlington, Wisconsin. You may recall that we played at the Waterfront on Brown's Lake a week earlier on Saturday. Our party this afternoon was directly across Brown's Lake from the Waterfront.

We arrived at 1:30pm allowing ourselves an hour and a half for load-in. We were met and greeted by host Jim and hostess Janet Winterle.

The Winterle's have a gorgeous home right on the banks of Brown's Lake. A wide lawn slopes down to the lake interspersed with terraced planting areas and patio areas.

We set up right on the edge of the lake - beneath a tent over the stage.

I couldn't resist dipping my toes in the water to test the temperature.

It was a bit chilly for my taste. Think I'll confine my swimming to the 92F salt water of the gulf of Mexico! But I think these folks up here are more acclimated to cold than I am!

The Winterle's graciously invited us to partake of the meal featuring brats, chicken breast, burgers and pulled bar-b-cue with all the side items you could wish for!

They also invited us to use the free standing beer buckets...

We had fun playing this party in such an idyllic setting. The day turned out clear and beautiful. It was warm, but there was a fresh breeze blowing so it was actually quite comfortable. I took lots of pictures of the crowd. There were a lot of families with kids there including quite a few little babies. I also tried to get some pics of the beautifully wood paneled basement bar, TV room, and game rooms in the basement level of the Winterle home.

We enjoyed this party and certainly hope we'll get invited back again!

The only bummer of the day was concerning Teenieana. As you can see in this photo, she's gone flat.

It's gotta be a hidden air leak somewhere. I tried to revive her using mouth to valve artificial respiration several times, but Teenieana continually winds up prone and flaccid at Santas feet. We're considering changing her name to "Flatiana". In the meantime, sadly, we might need to find Santa a different girl friend. Time will tell. I may have to totally immerse Teenieana in the bath tub to search for the leak! We might be able to fix a pin hole, but if she's suffered a split seem, well then... a recycling bin might be in her future!

Carting all our gear up the sloping yard to the front driveway at the end of the gig was a bit challenging. It had these three old geezers huffing and puffing, but we managed! It was an easy 21 mile drive for me back to Hales Corners. I was there before 8pm.

I sat on the apartment balcony and had a couple glasses of wine - enjoying the light breeze and clear evening skies. Later, I went inside to work on the computer blog updates and promptly fell asleep sitting upright in the computer chair!

So ended day 13.

Day 12, the Bunker, Waterford, WI 08/01/09

2009-08-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

I rolled into George Webb's for breakfast on Saturday morning about 8:00am. The night before, at Barnacle Bud's, I met a couple named Ceil and Joe.

They told me they'd been following the tour blog and knew the exact George Webb restaurant I usually go to. Joe said that if I was there Saturday morning between 8 and 8:30, that they'd buy my breakfast! I showed up at the appointed time (Hey! I ain't one to pass up a free meal!) and lo and behold, so did Joe and Ceil (along with a couple other friends of theirs).

We had an enjoyable breakfast and conversation. Thanks Joe and Ceil! The breakfast was great as was the company!

The Yard Dogs had a 1-5pm gig at "The Bunker" in Waterford, Wisconsin that afternoon. Being unsure of the weather conditions we didn't know if we'd be outside or inside and what sort of load-in difficulties either situation might present, so we agreed to meet there at 11:30am for load-in.

The Bunker is unique. It hosts not one but TWO VFW Posts and is a popular biker destination as well. The parking lot was rapidly filling with Harley's when we got there...

The grounds are festooned with old tanks, trucks, jets and helicopters...

The military theme predominates. Unlike other bars that use wooden nickles or poker chips for drink chits, the Bunker uses metal dog tags for theirs! (We got a few of those we are gonna use on our days off!)

Weather dictated an indoor setup so we dutifully carted our stuff inside. We were concerned as we set up because there were only like six people in the back room where we played. But once we started playing, the room rapidly filled to capacity and we had people standing in the doorway to the main bar room. We had a heck of a fun time playing this show! Owner and bartendress extraordinaire, Sandy, treated us great and we feel like we made a new friend! Santa felt the same way! Sandy wants us back next year and, circumstances and weather permitting, we'll put on a show outside in the ampitheater on a Sunday afternoon (her busiest day of the week).

Here's some pictures of the goings on...

I noticed Santa's main squeeze, Teenieana, was getting a little flaccid, so I blew her up before the show. She was standing tall for MOST of the show, but was showing signs of air leakage by the end of the show. Santa might be being a bit rough on her. (He's one insatiable old elf!)

I made the 15 mile drive back to Marion's apartment in good time and arrived to find her cooking a home made supper of pork chops smothered in red veggie sauce with baked veggies, greens, and red wine to go with it. Mar enlisted my help chopping up veggies.

It was delicious! I ate three pork chops and looked like "round man" after the meal. I didn't stay awake long after a busy day and meal like that! I ended day 12 by going to bed early and sleeping like a log!

Day 11 - rockin' Friday at Barnacle Bud's 07/31/09

2009-08-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

So here it is Sunday and I'm having a hard time remembering just what all I did on Friday. Sometimes after a week and a half on the road, the days just seem to run together and it's hard to remember past yesterday.

I do remember that Friday we were back at Barnacle Bud's in downtown Milwaukee - on the banks of the Kinnikinnick River. The place was packed!

Our friend Lori took Santa and Teenieana for a ride on her Harley...

We had a huge, fun crowd and I was snapping photos while Charlie was wandering aimlessly amongst the crowd shooting videos and recording a running commentary. Our special favorite is Charlie's interview with our little buddy, Gilligan!

2009 Midwest Tour/Barnacle Bud's-7/31/09

2009 Midwest Tour/Barnacle Bud's-7/31/09

2009 Midwest Tour/Barnacle Bud's-7/31/09

2009 Midwest Tour/Barnacle Bud's-7/31/09

During breaks and before and after the show, I managed a few snapshots which are included here.

We are back at Barnacle Bud's on Monday night, but since we had shows to play both Saturday and Sunday elsewhere, we had to load all the band stuff back up at the end of the show. My white van looked quite forlorn sitting in the parking lot waiting for me to drive it away.

But I was in a good mood. It had been a great show and we saw lots of old friends. Day 11 was a fun one.

Day 10 - Salmon, a Fair, a Grandbaby! 07/30/09

2009-08-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 30th was a day off for us. After breakfast at George Webb's, I headed off to collect Kip so we could both do a little grocery shopping.

While we were zipping our cart through the aisles at the Pick 'n Save, I got a cell phone call from Charlie. He was out fishing in Lake Michigan aboard the good ship "Pocka Rocka" with his brother, Jay, and sister-in-law Marcella. Charlie was all excited! "Hey! I just but a seventeen pound salmon in the fish box!"

He totalled three salmon for the day...

and even has a short video clip of him catching one of the two smaller fish...

2009 Midwest Tour/Salmon Fishing-Milwaukee, WI-7/30/09

Meanwhile, Kip and I finished shopping. We stopped by Mar's apartment so Kip could meet her dogs and catch up on reading our blog (he doesn't have access to a computer).

I had promised Marion I would make her a bowl of fruit salad, so after dropping Kip back at his place, I set to work. I wound up with like a couple gallons of fruit salad. That's okay. It'll get eaten quickly!

That evening, Mar and I set out to visit the Racine County Fair in Union Grove. It was sort of weird for a Wisconsin fair because they only had one place you could buy beer and you had to CONSUME the beer within the confines of a metal shed surrounded by chain link fence! They had the local constabulary posted at the entrance - to keep youngins' out and beer drinkers in I suppose...

Marion skipped having a beer so she was able to take my picture while I was confined to "beer jail" as I called it...

They must have thought I was trying to smuggle out a contraband beer or something! I kinda LIKED it when the lady cop was patting down my thighs! :)

After I made good my escape from beer jail, we set out to find my friend and bartender at Bonita Bill's in Florida - the infamous Kirby Bowe!

Kirby is doing his annual sabbatical as a carnival huckster. This week he's in Racine and next week the caravan moves up near Oskosh. Mar had never shot a gun before and since Kirby was running the shooting gallery, he soon had Mar popping holes in paper targets!

She won a couple of prizes - a big pair of dice to hang from the rearview mirror of the van, and a little clip with several pink feathers hanging from it. (We think it might be a roach clip. We'll have to ask Kip!)

As we were leaving the fair, I got a phone call from my wife, Nancy, back in Florida. Our daughter-in-law, Ashley, had finally gone to the hospital in labor! (She was like 5 days over due!) Ashley and Nancy's youngest son, Nathan, are stationed in Vilsek, Germany with the 3/2 Stryker Cavalry Regiment. Nathan finished a 15 month tour in Iraq nine months ago. Can you guess the first thing he must have done upon his return to Germany?

Just a couple of hours later, Nancy called again! Our grandaughter, little Layla Blaire Henning, had arrived! She weighed 6 lbs, 13 oz and measured 20 inches! She also has lots of strawberry blonde hair! (I think she's gonna be a redhead!)

Within 10 hours of her birth, Layla was home with her mom and dad meeting her little dog, Chopper, who is quite excited about the new addition to the family. Layla and her mom are both doing well.

It was a happy way to end my day! Day 11 of the Yard Dogs tour!

Day 9 - Barnacle Bud's redux 07/29/09

2009-07-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

So day 9 found us back at one of our very favorite Milwaukee haunts - Barnacle Bud's!

Our little buddy, Gilligan, was there working the crowd...

Like I said before, you gotta admire a man like Gilligan who paddles his kayak to work at Barnacle Bud's!

There was a boatload of babes docked at Barnacle Bud's when the Yard Dogs arrived. One lucky fellow was squiring them around in his boat while they celebrated Jennifer's 35th birthday. (Jennifer is the center, front row woman wearing shades.)

Owner's son and manager, J.R. greeted us when we arrived...

and we enlisted his help getting staff to move tables and umbrellas around so we could set up on the front deck this evening.

Soon, J.R.'s old man, Gene, showed up wearing a Bert's Bar T-shirt and started working the crowd with his twinkling eye and witty banter...

Bartender Petey was there wearing his Yard Dogs T-shirt! (Petey took time off from his OTHER job - doing Geico commercials - so that he could join us for the evening!

To make a long story short, we had a blast playing music and renewing friendships with Milwaukee friends as well as Floridians who journeyed from as far away as Ohio, Illinois and Iowa to attend the show!

Here's a slideshow of the goings on that evening...

I don't know if I mentioned before, the previous Monday when we played Barnacle Bud's Santa wound up missing his Bert's Bar hat. We think it might have happened when he was having his tussel with inflatable Blain over the affections of Teenieana! But while bantering with the crowd during Wednesday's show, I mentioned somebody had ripped off Santa's hat. Our little buddy, Gilligan, ran inside Barnacle Bud's and returned with Santa's Bert's Bar hat! You gotta love a lost and found table at a place like Barnacle Bud's! So Santa got his hat back!

Since we are playing Barnacle Bud's again tonight (07/31/09) at the end of the show we stashed our gear under a roof on the porch there and covered it with tarps to save us load-in time tonight. Charlie then headed off to spend the night with his brother in Milwaukee so he could get an early start salmon fishing on Lake Michigan the next morning. I drove Kip back to his crash pad in West Allis, then headed to the apartment in Hales Corner's which is my home away from home.

Charlie took a couple of videos which I'll post later on and I hope to have a photo of the 17 pound salmon he caught in the upcoming day 10 post!

Stay tuned!

Day 8 McKiernan's and Brewers 07/28/09

2009-07-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

Day 8 was a day off. Kip and Charlie had tickets for a brewers game but we all agreed to meet at 4:00pm at our friends, Gene and Victoria McKiernan's new bar called, oddly enough, Mckiernan's Tavern.

Gene and Victori also own Barnacle Bud's where we played Monday and where we are playing 07/29/09, 07/31/09 and 08/03/09!

Mckiernan's is a funky spot graced by old fixtures, old wood paneling, and odd items that reflect owner Gene's offbeat sense of humor! (Would you believe a door in the floor and a framed knotholeon the men's room door shaped like a penis?)

We enjoyed a few early afternoon brewsksis with Gene and Victoria...

before Kip and Charlie headed off to the Milwaukee Brewers game and I headed back to Hales Corners for an evening of popcorn and rented movies. Gene got quite a kick out of my story about the encounter with the police in Whitnall Park!

So ended day 8.

Day 7 - Dogged by the law and Barnacle Buds 07/28/09

2009-07-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was up early again this morning. (It gets light really EARLY up here in the northern lattitudes during summer!) I slurped some coffee and chatted with Mar until she had to head off to work. I told Mar I was going to walk her dogs, Sammy and Max on a nice walk that afternoon. She was pleased to hear that but cautioned me not to walk Max too far because he has had a couple of ALS surgeries on his knees and she didn't want him to get too tired out. No problem.

I quickly showered and jumped into the van. I did a quick search on Jane, the GPS, and set the coordinates for the nearest George Webb restaurant which was about a mile and a half away. I have come to love breakfast at George Webb during the last 5 years that the Yard Dogs have been visiting Wisconsin! Great food, great service from pleasant wait staff and all at a reasonable price! So after the "All American Breakfast" with tomato juice and coffee, I headed back to Mar's apartment and set to work making up a big bowl of homemade fruit salad which I had also promised her! I also did a little work on the computer and grabbed an hour nap.

We were playing a 6pm gig at one of our favorite Milwaukee hangouts later that afternoon - Barnacle Bud's - located on the banks of the Kinnikinnic River in Milwaukee. I figured to leave Mar's apartment no later than 4:15 so as to arrive by a quarter of five to load in and do sound check before the show. So I set out with both of Mar's dogs, Max and Sam just before 3:00pm - figuring on a leisurely half hour walk in the extensive Whitnall Park - adjoining Mar's apartment complex here in Hales Corners. I'd driven through the park on my earlier George Webb breakfast expedition and thought I could walk into the park, then circle around back to the apartment complex on West College Avenue which I knew ran through the park. I figured to be back by 3:30, leaving me time for a shower and quick nap before leaving. I left with both dogs but was a block away before remembering I forgot to bring my little handheld GPS I use while kayaking. No problem! Who can get lost in a park, right? After all, I'm a former US Army Ranger infantry type who has navigated at night while leading platoon sized patrols across miles of woodlands and swamps with nothing but a lensatic compass, a 1/50,000 scale topo map and oodles of self-confidence! Leading two dogs through a city park was not a challenge.

Except it was.

It embarasses me to admit it, but I got hopelessly totally twisted around. I was lost. (Hey! it's a BIG freaking park, okay?) By 3:30, I was concerned that the turn back onto College had not appeared. The damned streets weren't well marked and, though I could have backtracked, I was concerned that that would be too rough on poor Max with his bad legs. I kept thinking it would be closer to finish the loop back to the apartments (except I couldn't find the road to close the loop!)

Eventually I saw a car with two nice older ladies and a small dog drive by. I waved them down and asked the driver lady if she knew the closest way back to the Plumtree Apartments on College Ave. She replied, "No, not offhand, but I'll drive around a few minutes and see if I can figure it out. Wait here!" So after about 5 minutes waiting (by now it was nearly a quarter to four) I phoned Mar on my cell. She said she would leave work and come get me. I was totally embarassed!

But then the two little old ladies come back and pulled up next to the curb. One of them is talking on her cell phone and the other one says she has called the police to come help me. Great. Just what I needed. I told them that I didn't need the police, just a ride home and that I had my friend coming to get me but I would gladly give them 20 bucks for a lift back to the apartment complex (I was trying to save Marion having to leave work and drive to get me). About that time, they handed me their cell and said the dispatcher wanted to talk to me.

So I talked to the police dispatcher woman, explained I was from out of town, had gotten myself misoriented while walking dogs in the park and had waved down the two women in their car hoping for directions. The dispatcher asked, "Do you need officer assistance?" "No", I replied. I asked these ladies for a lift, but regardless, my friend is on her way now to come get me. The dispatcher took my name and cell number and asked me to call when my ride arrived so she could close out the police call. Cool. No problem. I thanked the two little old ladies who smiled and drove away. I walked back to the nearest intersection where I had told Mar she could meet me. Poor Max was showing signs of getting tired now.

So as I approach the intersection to wait for Mar, I see a patrol car cruising up. I waved him down to ask HIM for directions. Instead of rolling down his window, he jumps out of the car!

"STAND RIGHT THERE!" he commands! I'm thinkin' "Holy shit! What's up with this dude?"

"Do you have any ID?"

"Yes, officer".

"GIVE IT TO ME!"

So I ease my wallet out of my pocket and hand him my driver's license. He looks at it and says, "This isn't the first time you've been lost in this park is it?"

I reply, "Yes it IS the first time I've been lost here. In fact it's the first time I've ever even BEEN here, Officer!"

"Well, my dispatcher says she's had contact with you before!"

"Well, that's true officer. I spoke to her on a cell phone about 10 minutes ago", I replied.

"But never before today?

"No sir. Not ever."

So the officer runs my Florida license check through his dispatcher. While he's waiting for the results, I'm watching my watch - starting to get concerned this is gonna go on and on and I'll miss the gig (I have most of the gear back in my van that I can't figure out how to get to while I'm being rousted by this cop!) The cop gives me a hard stare and says, "We had a complaint about you flagging down cars!"

"A comlaint? The only car I flagged down was the two ladies who were trying to help me! They called the police for help for me, not to complain!"

"It wasn't those two ladies who complained. Somebody else saw you talking to them and they phoned in a complaint! But my dispatcher says you offered those two ladies twenty dollars to give you a lift home, is that true?"

"Yes, I did offer them $20 to give me and the dogs a lift home."

"Why did you do that???"

"Beacause, officer, I was f&%*ing LOST!" (I was getting a bit pissed off at the way this dude was treating me! I respect law officers and treat them politely, but I expect the same! This guy had my libertarian hackles rising at this point! Especially since I had done nothing wrong!)

About this time, my friend Marion arrives in her car and pulls up behind the officer's car. He tells her to stand right there while he runs HER car tags and license number through his dispatcher.

"Where do you live?" he asks her.

"The Plumtree Apartments on West College" she replies.

"Why does your license come up with a South Milwaukee address then?"

Marion proceeds to tell him how she just moved to her apartment three days earlier and I had arrived two days earlier and was staying with her while the band I belonged to played the Wisconsin State Fair. My friend Marion is smart, well spoken, and must look a lot less unsavory than I do, because soon the cop had warmed up to her and was talking to her like she was a real person - not a suspect. Seizing the moment, I pulled my camera out of my shirt pocket, pointed it at the two of them and said "Hey you two! Smile!" I'll be damned if the cop didn't pose and smile!

That seemed to break the ice and soon he let us go. It'll be a cold day in hell before they catch ME in that freaking park again!

It turned out it was only 1/2 mile down the road from that intersection where I met the cop to Mar's apartment. The dogs were tired from their ordeal.

I rushed upstairs, got a quick 3 minute shower then rushed off to Barnacle Bud's for the show. I made it by 5pm and we had plenty of time to load in and set up.

We were pleased to see our little buddy, Gilligan back again! Gilligan arrives for work at Barnacle Bud's in his kayak! We missed him last year and when I asked where he'd been, he replied "Up the river!" I don't think he meant the Kinnikinnic either! But we were sure glad to see him back again this year!

We had an awesome time playing the gig there! Many old friends in attendance and the boys from Charlie's old Milwaukee band, "Hat Trick" were there too!

Santa had an incident though. It seems a little inflatable plastic guy by the name of Blain, made a move on Teenieana! Santa had to give him a fist sandwich to get him to back off!

Here's a slideshow with the days highlights!

Santa wanted to post a reminder too...
You can email Santa at Santa@theYardDogs.com

He looks forward to hearing from you!

And that's the end of day seven!

Day 6 - Kirsh's at Lake Geneva 07/26/09

2009-07-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

I was up bright and early on day 6 of our tour. I am a world class omelette maker and I promised Mar I would cook us omelettes for breakfast.

Marion had asked me to help her break down and stack moving boxes she had stored in her garage. I figured, hey - no problem! Maybe 20 minutes worth of work. WRONG! She had her little garage STUFFED with packing boxes and packing papers from her recent move! Couldn't even step foot inside it was so full! We spent the better part of the morning breaking down boxes and stacking them flat and stuffing the papers into a dozen or so unbroken boxes.

Mar had fixed us a killer lunch of spicy black bean, corn and chicken salad and I had time for a quick shower and 10 minute nap before heading off to the show at Kirsh's in Lake Geneva, Wiconsin. Kirsh's is in the town of Lake Geneva, but it's located on the banks of Lake Como. It's quite a scenic spot as you can see from the most excellent video travelog that Charlie filmed before we started the show.

We saw many friends from Florida at this show. I didn't get as many pictures as I usually do, but I got enough so you can get an idea of what the place looked like!

I want to give a special shout out of thanks to "Mad Marty" from Big Burrito Radio for recording our show there at Kirsh's!

Marty assures us the Yard Dogs show that he recorded will be played on Big Burrito Radio sometime in the next few weeks. He did mention he might have to bleep a few portions of the show, but gee - we TRIED to behave! Here's a quick slideshow of the happenings at Kirsh's.

Santa was remarkably subdued at this show. I think he was pouting because not too many people wanted their picture taken with him. At the end of the show as we were loading out, I carried Santa and some other gear up to the van while Kip did the same with more gear and with Santa's little friend, Teenieana. I tossed Santa onto the back seat of the van then loaded the other gear in the back. Kip tossed in Teenieana and then loaded in his gear. We both cracked up when we started back past the open side door of the van and happened to notice how Santa and Teenieana had landed. Guess Santa's day wasn't a TOTAL bust!

All's well that ends well and evidently day 6 ended well for Santa!

Day 5 - the Waterfront at Brown's Lake 07/25/09

2009-07-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

I was up and at 'em by 6:30am and on the road by 8:00 on Saturday, July 25th. I was to stay with my good friend and former co-worker, Marion, in Hales Corners, Wisconsin for the duration of our band's Wisconsin stay, so I dialed her address into Jane, the GPS and commenced navigating.

I'd grabbed a coffee, glass of juice and an oatmeal muffin at the continental breakfast counter as I checked out of the Super 8 Motel in Markle, but by the time I was nearing Columbia City, Indiana, I was hungry again. I stopped at a little roadside joint called "The Crossroads" and had a great breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage and potatos. I felt like a new man when I hit the road again!

Though overcast, there was little rain and the drive was quite pleasant through the Indiana countryside. As soon as I crossed into Illinois though it got nasty! That Chicago traffic, which i first hit around 11:00am, slowed down my arrival in Hales Corners by at least an extra hour. Once I got past Illinois and broke into the state of Wisconsin, the traffic improved immeasurably!

My friend in Hales Corners, Marion, had just days previously moved into her new apartment there. I arrived aqt Mar's place about 1:15 in the afternoon. It was great to see Mar again and to renew friendship with her white lab, Max, and her new adopted border collie mixed breed, Sam. I moved my stuff into Mar's guest room and had time for a shower and quick nap before hitting the road to that evening's gig. It was our third year playing the Waterfront Restaurant at Brown's Lake in Burlington, Wisconsin.

Mar decided to ride with me as she was meeting a friend of hers, Laura, there for the evening. We set Jane the GPS with the address and arrived in the midst of a heavy thunderstorm. Fortunately the storm soon cleared and Kip and Charlie and I decided we could still set up outside as it looked like the rain had passed. Mar joined up with Laura outside on the deck overlooking the lake.

We saw dozens of our friends from Florida at this show and we had a heck of a lot of fun playing for this crowd!

Of course Santa enjoyed getting his photo taken with the babes.

About 10 minutes before the end of the last set, it started drizzling rain and we had to cut the set short and get our electronic gear out of harms way! My friend Mar and her friend Laura shot a couple of games of pool as we were loading out.

The Waterfront is a tough place to load into and out of. Thankfully, some of the young fellows working there at the restraunt lent a hand and helped us cart the heavy stuff back up the stairs to the van. I was pretty well whupped from a day on the road and the show and loading out in the rain. When Mar offered to take the wheel for the drive back to her apartment I happily agreed and enjoyed looking around not having to drive on the way home.

It was after midnight when I flopped down in the guest room. I slept like a log.

So ended day five of the tour.

Day 4 - Marklestock! 07/24/09

2009-07-27T08:14:00.001-07:00

Friday, July 24th was a beautiful, sunny day. I breakfasted at the little Harvest Moon restaurant then returned to the room to pack up. We were in no hurry to hit the road. Knowing it was only an hour and a half drive to cover the 80 odd mikes from Monticello to Markle, Indiana, we figured to check out at check out time (11:00am) and be in Markle by early afternoon. The drive was a pleasure - back country roads through soybean and corn fields and undeveloped woodland. We checked in at the Super 8 motel in Markle, then immediately headed to downtown Markle to our stomping ground of the previous year - the Pickle - for a beer and lunch. Almost immediately after we seated ourselves at the bar, four people showed up saying, "We KNEW we would find the Yard Dogs here!". We enjoyed chatting with (L-R) Steve and Molly from Huntington Beach, California and "Rubboard Ron" and Amy whom we have spied, on more than one occasion, misbehaving themselves at Bert's Bar in Matlacha! Soon afterwards, Dale arrived. Dale is the father of Tonya, our hostess for the big party that evening! We figured Tonya had sent her friends and father to check up on us and make sure we didn't get overserved and fail to show up at the party that night! As we were leaving the Pickle, we bumped into Pickle owner, Jon Goetz out front. We took a nice long nap, then headed out about 5pm to the barn where Marklestock was going to be held.

We were blown away by the decorations host and hostess Joe and Tonya had gone to! Santa's Excellent Adventure was off to an excellent start in Markle! Not only that, but they provided Santa with companionship! They knew Santa was missing his girl, Titania, back home at the Leaky Tiki in Ft Myers Beach, so they provided a stand-in. A little inflatable doll that goes by the name, "Teenieana". Santa wasted no time getting acquainted! We saw many old friends at the barn in Markle. Cathy and Jessica from Ohio were kind enough to gift us with a bottle of 100 proof Captain Morgan's rum! Likewise, our good friend, Tim Weaver, from Cincinatti provided us with gifts as well! Two 12 pccks of beer for Kip, some sippin' Bourbon for Charlie, and a bottle of Appleton's VX rum for me! :) Speaking of Tim Weaver, we have to mention Tim traveled all the way from Cincinatti, and p[artied with uis in both Monticello at the Oakdale Dam Inn the night before, and at Marklestock. This photo of Tim is living proof of what two days in a row of partying with the Yard Dogs can do to a man! I could go on and on describing the events of the evening, but I put together a little slide show which I'll include in a bit. Hey! a picture's worth 100 words, right? The highlight of the evening was when Santa himself arrived on a 4-wheeler that screeched to a stop in front of the band. He had a box that was full of butt pants. Soon a large percentage of the crowd was dancing thier asses off wearing butt pants! It's true! The young woman seen here with the surprised look on her face took my camera and snapped a number of pictures of the crowd.

Not only did she get photos, but videos too! The second video clip shown below features Santa's arrival during "Tits Up in the Marble Orchard" and the butt pant wearers.

The photobucket censors deleted this following clip. I guess they thought the butt pants were REAL! I'll try to upload it in a different way. Let's see if this works...

Here is the slide show I promised you. I had to post it in four sections...

The party grand finale was a HUGE load of fireworks shot off above the pond adjoining the barn... Since we had to be on the road the next day before 8am, we left while the drinking continued... and at about the time the karaoke began... What a fun and enjoyable time! We sure hope they have us back again to Marklestock next year! Oh! by the way, when we got back to the motel, we discovered Santa had sneaked his new girlfriend, Teenieana aboard the van. Looks like she'll be accompanying Santa for the rest of the tour! And so ended day four of the Yard Dogs 2009 tour - Santa's excellent adventure!

Day 3 - Oakdale Dam Inn Rocks! 07/23/09

2009-07-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

Santa and the Yard Dogs had one kick-ass fun gig last night at the Oakdale Dam Inn! We're leaving Monticello, Indiana headed for Markle, Indiana in about 45 minutes so I will update this blog later when I get time with details of the day's events. Meanwhile, here's some pics from last nights party!

Update at 12:45am 07/25/09: At 2:00pm Friday afternoon I spent 45 minutes typing a detailed, informative, witty and humorous recap of the most excellent day we had on day 3. But I have been beset with wireless connection issues and when I hit the "post it" button to update the blog, my literary masterpiece vanished into cyberspace. We gotta hit the road early in the morning as we have a gig tomorrow in Burlington, Wisconsin. So you're just gonna have to wait for the day 3 update AND the day 4 update from tonight's raucus and rollicking gig in Markle, Indiana - and face it - perhaps even TOMORROW's gig at the Waterfront in Brown's Lake (Burlington, WI) until such time as I have a reliable internet connection and time to sit down and type it all in. I will try real hard not to forget the important stuff to tell you! Stay tuned!

Update at 10:10a, CDT 07/27/09:
Wow! Finally had a chance to get a decent internet connection and time to use it!

I've forgotten what I had to say in my witty and humorous recap of the days events that was lost in cyberspace, so I will just say that he Oakdale Dam Inn gig totally rocked! We were amazed at how many friends we recognized from Bert's Bar, Parrot Key, Bonita Bill's, the Lighthouse Tiki Bar and Pincher's Crab Shack! The place was packed and the people definitely came to party! We hope we see all of you again next year!

Update at 07:35am 07/29/09:
added this video (also posted on our Myspace page)

2009 Midwest Tour/Oakdale Dam Inn-7/23/09

Day 2 - Refund, Roughage and Rain 07/22/09

2009-07-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

So day 2 started for me at 6:00am when my alarm went off. I was too tired the night before to set up the computer and upload pics for this blog, so I figured I'd do that from six to seven, check out, grab a bite to eat and me and Santa would be gone - trucking down the highway.

Nothing goes as planned. I fiddledy-farted around for an hour and a half trying to upload photos. Finally I just gave up, posted a short note on the blog, showered, shaved, packed Santa into the front seat of the van and went to check out. As I mentioned in the previous post, I had basically disassembled the motel rooms drape system to try and provide Santa and I a bit of privacy. I didn't want the motel management to come back at me later for damages so when I checked out I was sure to tell the desk lady what had happened. She seemed skeptical until she noticed the note the night time desk lady had left on my paperwork. When she presented the bill, I decided to push it a bit.

"You know, that was a real hassle having to go through all that effort to rig my drapes for privacy. How 'bout some sort of consideration for that fact on this room charge?"

"Well sir, I suppose we could take that into consideration in the billing. What amount did you have in mind?"

"Well, I don't expect you to give me the room for free. After all, I did sleep in it and aside from the drapes it was okay. I'll settle for whatever you think is fair."

Ka-Ching! She gave me a $20 refund on the bill! More money for George! Yeah!

Who is George, you ask? George is the 4th member of the Yard Dogs band. George Nada. George is Not A real person. But while each of us REAL people in the band get an even share of cash for stuff we sell, George gets TWO shares for every sale. This money we use to replenish sales item stock and for gas and hotel expenses when we are on the road. Okay - enough of the Yard Dog's high-finance accounting trickery. I shall now discourse upon a subject quite important to traveling musicians living on the road: Roughage!

Last year on our tour blog, I talked a bit about road snacks. It ain't no fun while on tour to be beset with constipation. And even worse than constipation is a bad case of the runs! The solution? Roughage! I augment my diet on the road with daily doses of psyillium fiber via a heaping spoonful of Metamucil. Seems to keep the system working efficiently and normally. And it lets you know in no uncertain terms when "it's time"! Sorry. Don't know how I got sidetracked onto that topic. I guess it was to let you know the day to day stuff involved in touring. (It ain't all that glamorous sometimes!)

So I drank a glass of Metamucil, breakfasted at a Waffle House across the street from the LaQuinta, checked in with Kip and Charlie by cell phone (they were an hour ahead of us down the road) and me and Santa headed towards "the Noog". Immediately it started raining. The weather channel that morning had revealed a broad band of rainstorms moving across Tennessee, Kentucky, and Indiana and we expected heavy rains during the drive. I enjoyed having my new GPS because I could concentrate on the road conditions and traffic and still get a turn-by-turn instruction on where to go. Last year, I had borrowed my son, Benjamin's GPS. As you may recall, I named the GPS "Kelly" because the female voice sounded just like the actress, Kelly LeBrock. But the new GPS had sort of a plain Jane voice. A voice not reminiscent of any famous actresses or public figures. An anonymous sounding voice. A "Jane Doe" type voice. Hmmmm. A "plain Jane" "Jane Doe" voice? Can you see where I'm going with this?

So Jane, the GPS, is steadily giving me turning directions and Santa and I are bombing along just fine - though the rain is now falling heavily. We breeze through Chattanooga, climb up, around and down through the mountains to the west of the Noog. It's a couple hours drive through the heavy rain to get from the Noog to Nashville (pronounced "Nay-ush-ville" if you're speaking to someone from Tennessee "Teyn-uh-sEE"). It took a lot of concentration fighting the rain and splashing water from the legions of 18 wheelers sharing the highway. I steadily sipped coffee to keep myself alert.

In Nay-ush-ville, not only did we have rain and splashing trucks, but we had heavy traffic and heavy fog! It was like driving through a white out with the falling rain, the fog, and the splashing water. It was a very tense situation requiring total concentration to get through safely. Semi trucks were everywhere. Local traffic was zipping and darting about, changing lanes, braking and accelerating in a fashion designed to make driving for others difficult. My coffee sipping had caught up with me and I needed to pee, but, being a beer drinker, I have highly developed bladder control and I planned to wait until the first rest stop inside Kentucky before making a pit stop. Getting through the miserable situation with traffic and bad road conditions was my top priority. Santa seemed unfazed with the situation and Jane kept up a steady directional commentary ("Bear right, merge left, turn right in 300 yards" etc...) Then all of a sudden, in the midst of all this turmoil and roadway chaos, another voice spoke to me. It was Roughage saying, "It's time!"

Oh - My - God! Indeed it was time! Just what I needed while struggling to stay alive in all that Nay-ush-ville chaos! There was no place to stop. I was doing all I could just to get through town and out the other side while keeping myself, Santa, and all the band gear in one piece! I gritted my teeth, ignored the gut-grumbling, clenched the sphincter muscles tightly closed with superhuman effort and continued driving while trusty Jane called the shots and kept us headed in the right direction.

I am happy to say that everything held together and we reached the Kentucky border without incident. That was perhaps the most miserable I have ever been on the road in the 43 years I have been driving automobiles! I would like to personally thank the people of the state of Kentucky, their governor, their department of transportation, and anyone else remotely involved in situating that first rest stop immediately inside the Kentucky/Teyn-uh-sEE border!

Rain and miserable road conditions prevailed until we were well north of Indianapolis.

Jane the GPS performed flawlessly until we hit the end of the day's travel in Monticello, Indiana. She had me turn left at an intersection and told me I had arrived at my destination (the Best Western in Monticello). Unfortunately, there was no Best Western in sight! I backtracked through the intersection and found the Best Western 200 feet to the RIGHT of the intersection. I wasn't too upset with Jane though. After all, she had navigated us flawlessly through that Nay-ush-ville ordeal!

Kip and Charlie had arrived about an hour ahead of me. They were drinking rum and chasing it with beer. I followed suit and we spent a few minutes discussing the miserable 500 mile drive that day. Though different from mine, their experiences had been equally frightening and taxing. We toasted our safe arrival then decided to go to the site of our show the next day for supper and a chance to meet our host and hostess. We headed off to the Oakdale Dam Inn.

We met Inn owners Ron and Leslie Ainley. They are both friendly, personable people, but Ron didn't want his photo taken. Leslie, gave us a tour of the Oakdale Dam inn..

The inn is located at the very foot of the dam and served as a bunkhouse for the workers while the dam was being constructed back in the 1920's.

We scoped out a plan for load-in and setup for the show the next day, then enjoyed a most fantastic meal. Their food is phenominal! We're really looking forward to this show!

When we returned to the hotel, Kip headed to his room to watch ultimate fighting on TV. Charlie and I brought Santa in so share a drink with us.

We left Santa in Charlie's room for the night and Charlie and I headed outside to sit at a table with cigars and rum while we solved the problems of the world! Hey! If they ever elect us co-commanders of the northern hemisphere, there's gonna be some damned CHANGES made!

Charlie headed to bed (after covering Santa's eyes) Santa has a really evil freaky stare and you can't sleep with him watching you!

I got out the computer and spent several hours uploading photos and typing the day 1 update to our tour blog. I even put the slide show for day 2 together!

Thus ended day 2 of the Yard Dogs 2009 tour!

Day 1 - the Drape Caper 07/21/09

2009-07-22T04:24:00.000-07:00

Having trouble posting and uploading pics. Will file full report this evening.

Santa and I spent the night at a LaQuinta Inn outside of Chattanooga ("the Noog" as Santa refers to it). The good news is that I don't think they will try to make us pay for the drapes!

Update: 07/22/09 - 10:00pm

Okay - it seems like finally the pictures are uploading to photobucket so I can post them here. While that's working in the background, I'll update yesterday's activities.

Santa and the Yard Dogs all met at 8:00am at the Shell station at Pine Island Road and Burnt Store Road.

Kip's wife, Heather and his daughter, Courtney, and dog, Nikki, were there to see us off.

We were fully loaded (equipment-wise) and on the road by 8:15am. Kip and Charlie were in Charlie's SUV while me and Santa brought up the rear in the van with the gear.

It was a beautiful day with cloudless skies and sunshine all the way from Matlacha to Chattanooga ("the Noog").

Santa mostly behaved. He did ask me to stop at Micanopy, Florida at the "Cafe Risque" when he saw their nude dancer billboards, but I refused. We had neither the time nor the money to entertain Santa there.

We crossed from Florida into Georgia...

and once in Georgia, I again refused Santa's requests to stop at the "Jade Spa", the "Happy Hands" massage emporium, and the "Love Stuff" adult superstore.

Santa was really put out with me at that last one. He had his little plastic heart set on aquiring an inflatable plastic love-doll companion to accompany him on his travels since his erstwhile girlfriend, Titania, was unable to make the trip. I assured Santa that some kind soul, at some point on our tour, was bound to gift him with his very own inflatable plastic love doll. That seemed to calm him down a bit.

We always seem to hit Atlanta at rush hour, but traffic was not bad (by Atlanta standards) this day.

Kip and Charlie stopped somewhere between Dalton, Georgia and "the Noog" for the first night while Santa and I made it a few miles further on to the LaQuinta on I-75 just north of the interstate cut-off to Chattanooga. I stayed at the same motel on our tour last year. This year we were lucky to get a room because they were having the National Softball Association World Series there in Chattanooga and Santa and I got the very last available room at the LaQuinta!

Santa opted for a nap in the room while I went out to dinner.

I went back to the same Texas Steak House where the previous year I had met a very personable, yet intellectually challenged waiter. (See day 1 - 2008 tour to refresh your memory about THAT episode!) He wasn't there this year (probably couldn't find his way back to work!) Instead, I was waited on by a series of very polite, professional, and personable staff members. My meal was excellent, and I got a kick out of seeing the many dozens of young female softball players from the NSA World Series enjoying an evening out! (I was glad Santa was not there!)

Back at the room, it was getting dark and I flipped on the light, then went to pull the drapes over the window only to discover the window drapes were missing! There were some sheer gauze curtains, but no view-blocking shades! A dis-believing desk clerk accompanied me back to the room. She was convinced I just didn't know how to close the shades. She became a believer when I asked HER to close the shades for me! There were some dark, dangly permanently affixed shades at the ends of the little awning thingie over the window. (What is that called? A cornice? A valence?) They were those permanent shades that hang at the ends just for decoration (not for function) but aren't supposed to move on the little slider things that move across the windows. To make a long story short, SHE couldn't close them either and finally admitted the shades were missing! I asked her to please make a note on my registration to that effect so that Santa and I would not get blamed for stealing the shades! I made her wait while I tried (unsuccessfully) to drape a bedspread across the window, then finally deconstructed the existing shades to make a makeshift window cover.

It never occurred to me (until the desk clerk lady was in the room with me) that it might seem sort of strange (perhaps even bizarre?) to see a grown man fiddling with the window shades to assure his privacy while his little plastic Santa lay snuggled on his motel room's single bed with a Bert's Bar cap pulled low over his eyes! Oh what the hell! She'll get over it! She's probably seen kinkier things during her time in the hospitality industry!

Eventually, by totally destroying the permanent drapery fixture, I was able to secure the room from peeping Tom types for the night. I removed Santa from the bed, propped him in a chair near the window to stand guard, and called it a day. We had covered 700 miles safely and I retired sleepy, well fed, and in moderate privacy for the night. I didn't even plug in the computer. I was tired and set the alarm for 6:00am then slept like a log.

So ended day 1 on the Yard Dog's 2009 tour!

Santa's last minute packing - Monday 07/20/09

2009-07-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Kip came over late this morning so we could pull the band gear out of his car and load it in the van with the rest of the stuff. Naturally Santa was there to supervise (he does a lot of supervising and damn little work if you ask me!) Check it out!

I got my road trip groceries bought and ready to go, got the new GPS programmed with all the likely destinations, got the sippin' likker packed, got a suitcase full of Native Kid shorts, Columbia fishing shirts, and the electric chargers for the iPod, cell phone, camera battery and electric beard trimmer.

I'm off now to top off the tank, get ice for the cooler, and buy one of those little dangly air freshener things you hang from your rear view mirror to make the van smell good.

Santa and the boys are gonna rendevous tomorrow at 8:00am at our traditional rallying point - the Shell station on Pine Island road - to officially kick off the tour!

Stay tuned!

Santa's chillin' 07/15/09 - 07/16/09

2009-07-16T15:11:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I walked the yard and sprayed Roundup on the weeds that have started to take over. Santa refused to help - preferring to remain indoors in the airconditioning while watching the television most of the day. Santa opted to stay home when I went to do the banking for the Yard Dogs. The tellers at the bank were disappointed he failed to accompany me.

Thursday, Santa refused to accompany me on the many errands I had to run. He missed breakfast at El Tropical, refused to help me unload all the band stuff out of the van, refused my suggestion for him to help me inventory all the band cd's, T-shirts, tank tops, hats, hot sauce bottles, bumper stickers, coozie cup holders, and ice-scrapers, preferring instead to lounge by the pool and drink my beer. Sucker oughta learn to buy his OWN beer!

So when I went out to get the van washed, detailed, and waxed, get the slow leak in the right rear tire fixed, get the tires rotated, and get the brake job done, Santa just hung by the pool. Again!

So just to spite him I enjoyed a beer at Pincher's Crab Shack in North Fort Myers while the van was getting washed while I chatted with bartendress Charity and waitresses Rhonda and Cindy, then I enjoyed a couple more brewskis at the Clubhouse Tiki Bar on Santa Barbara in Cape Coral while the van was having it's brakes and tires readied for the tour, and now I'm leaving Santa at home while taking my lovely wife out for grocery shopping and dinner at El Tropical! (And beer).

Santa has to learn it's a bit of work besides all the play doing this band stuff! I think he's milking this experience for all it's worth and it's starting to piss me off, dammit! That's okay. He'll learn once we hit the road next week! He will learn to earn his keep!

Stay tuned!

Going Away Party at the Twisted Conch! (Santa meets Titania) Tuesday, 07/14/09

2009-07-15T05:34:00.000-07:00

The Yard Dogs were psyched up for our last show in SWFL before we head out on tour! It was at the Twisted Conch in Cape Coral. Santa was psyched too because he's a lonely little ugly plastic dude and the Yard Dogs promised to introduce him to a great big, life sized, hot plastic chick by the name of Titania! Our friends Bucky and Pam from Ft Myers Beach very kindly facilitated the introduction by bringing Titania with them to the show. (Titania resides with Bucky and Pam - staying primarily in their personal tiki bar known locally as "the Leaky Tiki"). Here's Santa meeting Titania for the first time (we think it was love at first sight!)

We had a rollicking good time at the Twisted Conch as the crowd built to capacity and adult beverages were consumed in abundance. We took some pictures of the goings on. Interestingly most of the women chose to pose with Santa while most of the men posed with Titania. We wonder why was that?

Santa is going to just chill for the next week while the Yard Dogs prepare for departure. Stay tuned!

Santas adventure begins 07/13/09

2009-07-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, the big plastic Santa that lives at Bert's Bar in Matlacha, Florida (the original home of the Yard Dogs) was kidnapped. There's a whole story behind THAT episode in Bert's Bar history, so i won't go into it now.

That old, kidnapped Santa has been replaced with a new Santa. The new Santa has languished at Bert's Bar for a few years now. Last Wednesday, July 8th, the Yard Dogs had their Christmas in July cd release party for our new cd, "Christmas with the Yard Dogs". As part of the show, I dressed up as "bad Santa" and wore that Santa suit for the second set of the show. Check it out here!

Christmas In July-July 8, 2009

Walking back out of Bert's to change out of the Santa suit, I was accosted by the little plastic Santa at Bert's. Perhaps he felt a special affinity for me because I was dressed up like him, or perhaps he sensed that even without the Santa suit I am a somewhat grizzled old elf - much like himself. regardless, he shared with me his desire to stretch his wings a bit and spend some time away from the confines of Bert's Bar. I guess aside from an occasional spilled beer and an infrequent dusting, his view never changes there and he wanted to break free - at least for a little while. So I made this deal with Santa: he could come with us on our 2009 midwest tour, visit Indiana, Wisconsin, missouri, and points in between. I promised him we would show him a good time, show him to a view of the world he had never seen, take him places he had never been to and introduce him to a variety of fun, happy, crazy and exotic people. In return all he has to do is pose for photos and help us promote the "Christmas with the Yard Dogs" cd. It's a match made in heaven!

So after discussing it with Bert's Bar owner, Bernard and manager, Kim, I showed up at Bert's on Monday to take Santa on the beginning of his excellent adventure. Lisa and Maddy kissed Santa goodbye.

He hopped into the front seat of my van...

Stopped at Pine Bay Gift Store to ask miss Nancy for a Bert's bumper sticker to wear on his belt...

then he and I took off on a little magical mystery tour of the local area - just to get santa acclimated to life on the road with the Yard Dogs!

We hit the Lighthouse tiki bar where the Yard Dogs have a number of appearances scheduled once we return form our tour. While there, Santa got to meet Captain Morgan! Our next stop was Bonita Bill's. Imagine Santa and my surprise to walk in and see Kip Lawrence of the Yard Dogs up on stage doing an impromptu show with local live-aboard percussionist, Carveth. Santa joined Kip and Carveth on stage, met Kirby and Kendra and Cookie, got to go on a ride on Smitty's Sea Otter Water Taxi, met local Segway tour guide Pete and his friends Brooke and Eric and got to ride Pete's Segway, met Paul Teutul Sr. look-alike, Carl, and rode Carl'ss Harley, then ventured to "The Humidore Smoke Shop", met proprietor Gray, and scored a couple of Arturo Fuente Exquisito Maduros, then headed for Cape Coral. The Yard Dogs are having their going away party tonight, July 14th at 6pm at the Twisted Conch in Cape Coral, so Santa just HAD to meet Monica and Helen, yet ANOTHER Captain Morgan statue, and bar patron Skip, before heading back to the Travis house. Later, Santa accompanied me and my wife, Nancy, to El Tropical Cuban Cafeteria for a dinner of Fried Pork Chunks, black beans and rice, deep fried sweet plantains and Presidente cervesa. Santa got to meet the whole crew, including some young'uns he'll need to add to his list this year!

Last year people complained about the photos taking a long time to load. So THIS year on our tour blog, I'm going to try adding the pics as slide shows. Here's the first...

You can email Santa directly at Santa@theYardDogs.com

Stay tuned for future updates!